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Accents

I took a Voice and Diction class a year ago, and I really enjoyed it.  In particular, I learned techniques that help me dissect an accent, in order to correctly reproduce it.  Although as part of my final grade I performed a monologue in a Russian accent, I haven't really been able to get the hang of speaking RUSSIAN with a russian accent.  I guess it's just too much to think about...or maybe it's because I stick out so badly as a foreigner that subconsciously I realise there is no point in even trying to hide it.

I've had people ask if I'm from Finland, Italy, Greece, and of course America.  What's funny is that they never ask "where are you from", it's always "oh, you're from Italy".  This may just be russian sentence structure, but the presumptuous nature of it amuses me.

Really I think most of those nationalities are assumed because I have dark hair and skin (at least comparatively so... after almost 4 months of winter I'm paler than I've ever been).  But still, the study of accents and the way they are received really intrigues and amuses me.  I can't for the life of me understand the Chinese students in my class when they speak russian, and the Belgium guy Pieter makes me laugh with the most random comments, simply because his accent is so deadpan.  Laura on the other hand (from Mexico), sounds like she's speaking Spanish even when she's speaking russian or english.

Anyway, here's a little bit of standup on accents that I find humorous.  Hope you enjoy.

The video

Here is the video that facebook took down...it's on youtube now.  Doesn't look as pretty because the quality isn't as good, but you get the idea <3

In the name of Peace, and Swine Flu

Masha

I met someone today.  He's gorgeous.  An absolute dreamboat.  Soft brown hair, beautiful brown eyes... He's a little immature for me at the moment, but I feel that in a few years he'll be quite good at providing for his mate.  I think Dad would approve, because I'm pretty sure he's an excellent fisherman.

His name is Masha, and he's a 4 month old bear cub.

I'd heard that you could find bears on leashes in Russia, and some of my friends here had seen them a few months ago, but I had yet to encounter any myself.  But the weather has finally  (knock on wood) taken a serious turn for the better, and as the days get longer and sunnier and warmer, the tourists are beginning to come out of the wood work.  So have the tourist traps, the canal rides, and the photo-opportunities.

Evan and I met Masha on a bridge behind the Church of Our Savior on Spilled Blood.  This bridge is highly frequented because it is right next to the Souvenir Market, directly behind the Sobor, and on most days you will find several newlywed couples there. 

 It's a tradition in Russia that on your wedding day you (As a couple) run around having your photos taken in front of all the major landmarks...this includes churches, statues, bridges, palaces, etc...there's a lot of ground to cover.  So on pretty much every weekend (even in the middle of winter) you'll see limousines lined up, and couples having pictures taken. 

It's also a tradition in St Pete (and they have similar traditions in Moscow) that the newlyweds lock a padlock onto the bridge behind the Church on the Spilled Blood, and then throw the key away into the river below. 

 This represents that their marriage/love will not be broken, or that noone else will be able to unlock the brides heart, or something like that.

This photo here is just one of the padlocks -the bridge is covered in them.  This one is quite large, and has the names of the bride and groom engraved in it, as well as their day of marriage.  Pretty cute idea really.  This photo doesn't show it, but the bridge is COVERED in these.

Anyway, the bridge has quite a high level of foot traffic, and today for the first time I saw a bear.

We both mistook him for a dog at first, wandering around on his little tiny muzzle at his (owners?) feet.  When I figured out he was a bear however, I had to go over and say hello.

I felt a little guilty handing over 100 rubles (just over $3) to have my photo taken with the little dear.  I'm not a huge fan of the idea that this little guy was taken from his mother 

and is now kept on the end of a leash to be picked up by tourists and make money.  I remember reading "The Deliverance of the Dancing Bears" when I was little, and it seems if nothing else, like a very blatantly touristy thing to do, and I've been trying to live here and be a real student, not seem like an ignorant tourist.

But I'm pretty sure I'll probably never get the chance to hold a brown bear again, or at least not without risking serious harm to myself...(Masha is one Latin name away from being the same bear as a Grizzly).

And he was so darn cute, the poor little dear.

Anyway, here's a photo of me with him....

It's such an awkward photo... Poor little Masha is clearly thinking "putmedownputmedownputmedownputmedown".   He was making funny little grunty noises too.  

I wanted to hold him more firmly, with my hand under his rump like a baby so he'd be more comfortable, but that was how the guy gave him to us to hold, and I'm no bear expert.  I know how to pick up a koala (by the wrists -if you pick them up by the ribcage you can crush and kill them), but a koala isn't even a bear, so that doesn't count.

I volunteered at a zoo for a week back in Cairns, and after having to repeatedly tell stupid tourists not to readjust their grips on baby crocodiles or snakes etc, because it's dangerous, and they weren't holding them correctly,  I didn't want to mess with Masha, (although I'm pretty sure he wouldn't do too much damage, the little darling...) but it would have been nice to be able to hold him in a way that didn't leave him dangling loose and sadly like he is in the photo.

But I guess that's the kind of photo you get -it would be silly, and maybe even wrong on some level, to get a really cute and happy photo with a little bear that's been taken from his mum at such a young age and kept on a leash.  This is real.

Although, the guy who was leading him around seemed pretty gentle with him, and nice to Masha. I don't want to be naive, sure, it could just be a public front, but he seemed to care about the little guy.  And at least he didn't have a ring through his nose (Masha, not the trainer).  But I don't know exactly how one goes about obtaining a baby bear, or what you do with it when it gets older.... it might be a legit business full of care and love, or it might be a sad sad story that I don't want to research.

At the very least I hope to run into Masha again -he was way too cute, and seemed quite frolick-y when not in the hands of an inexpert handler. <3

Loves!

Urgh. Do people have nothing better to do with their time?

So the video in the blog beneath this one has been removed from facebook for copyright infringement... apparently writing "the song in the background is 'Gibberish' by Relient K'" wasn't enough for someone, and so they reported me.

I understand the rules of copyright infringement, and perhaps I shouldn't have named the video clip 'Gibberish' too...  But considering how much copyrighted and infringed CRAP there is on such sites as youtube and myspace, I really didn't think that my video was a problem or illegal in any way.

And most of all, I really don't think that Relient K themselves would have had a problem with it.  Someone (the person who reported me) clearly has too much time on their hands.  It's especially worrying since my facebook profile has such ridiculous privacy settings that my friends can't find me to add me as a contact, leading me to think maybe it was someone I know....?  Hmm.  Or perhaps a record company employee with a really crappy job is paid to sort through bad internet videos, and stumbled across mine.

But anyway, apologies to Relient K if adequate credit was not given.  I've been a fan for ages, and I'm sure noone thought I'd written the song, or sung it like a boy, and played the drums and guitar, or tried to take credit for it in any way.

So, here is a video I found on youtube, set to a different Relient K video.  I'm not saying it's crap, I'm just saying that if this is allowed to stay on the internet, mine should be too.

Pink Tux...

Дорогой русский язык...

Dear Russian Language,

You are a strange and tortuous mistress.  Every time I begin to think that perhaps we are getting along, you spurn me.   You torture me by giving me false hope, believing that maybe our relationship will blossom into something wonderful, and then you send me reeling with your harsh lack of vowels and impossible conjugations. 

Time after time I fall for you, I am fooled into thinking we have a future together,  lulled by your sweet beauty and soft words...and time after time you suddenly turn on me, leaving me heartbroken and frustrated by my own naivety.  

Some days I feel there is hope that I will finally conquer you, and then all is ripped out from underneath me, the basic foundations I thought I knew, gone...

It would be for my own good to just walk away. You're bad for my health.  But I never shall.  Will the torture ever end? I think not.

 

Lovingly, pathetically yours,

Bimini...

 

Soooo, that may have been a little melodramatic, but I think it captures at least to some extent the torture of learning a slavic language, while trying to reflect the drama of Russia itself -a cold, beautiful, but harsh country.

I've been here over 3 months now, and there is no doubt about it, my russian has improved dramatically.  When I first got here I accidentally told someone that my day was "not milk" instead of "not bad", whereas now I can kind of hold a conversation.  Kind of.

But I still have a long way to go.  The language shouldn't be as hard as it is.  It's really quite logical, and looking at it objectively I remind myself that it shouldn't be difficult at all.  You don't have to worry about stupid things like word order -everything is easily marked and identified by it's case ending, which tells you everything you need to know about the sentence.  It's certainly an easier language than English. I'm so glad English is my first language...learning other languages just highlights to me how stupid english is, and I'm glad I don't have to learn it as a second language...

But I can't help but shake the feeling that if I'd been studying something like French these last 3 years, instead of Russian, I'd be practically fluent in French by now.   It was quite depressing when I spent some time with some french students, and realised that my French is just as good as (if not slightly better) than my Russian...after being in Russia for three months!

I heard a statistic though (not sure how true it is), that Asian/slavic languages take 3 times as long to become fluent in, as the romantic languages.  This is somewhat comforting, but at the same time raises the question; "why the hell did I choose to study Russian?!"

I'd just like to point out a few of the challenges in learning this language...

Obviously there's learning a new alphabet.  Now, that's not actually such a big deal.  It's not as hard as some people make it

out to be.  But if you're having an off day, the alphabet can really come back to bite you in the bum.

The "v" sound is represented by a "B".

The "nn" sound is represented by a "H".

The "hh" sound is represented by  "x".

Let's not forget that the "rr" sound is written with a "p",

and that the "pp" sound is represented by "п" (that one actually makes sense). But when the "п" is handwritten in cursive (because all Russians write in cursive), it can kind of look like an english language "n", which really messes with my head sometimes. The letter "я", which LOOKS like an english letter R turned backwards, is really pronounced "ya".

Speaking of backwards letters, the sound "eee" is written with "и", a backwards N.

There is a letter that looks like the starship enterprise.

ю <- see it? This letter is pronounced "yoo".

And this little cutie here is the bane of my existence. I always forget it in my spelling... It's one of those silent/soft sign letters that doesn't really have it's own sound.

ь... Looks like a "b" doesn't it? Nope. Not a b. It's called "Myakee znak".

Oh, and the "d" sound is represented by "д", a letter which can look like a captial A on billboards, or like a "b" when written in cursive.

Such a fun language.

But for all my complaints, I do really enjoy it. I like that I can almost understand radio announcements now, or at least tell where one word begins and the other one ends. I can read billboards, and it doesn't take me 10 minutes to read the side of a bus and figure out where it's going to. But I just wish that my performance was more steady... that is, I either have days of complete and total BRILLIANCE with the language, or I have days where I suck so badly I could make a fortune getting dirt out of carpets.

For example, just the other day, I had just finished telling a story in class. I was so proud of myself, as I'd done very well... Obviously there were a few mistakes, but I'd managed to correctly conjugate my verbs, and use appropriate forms of adjectives etc, without really thinking about it. It was quite an achievement for me. Then, about 10 minutes later I completely screwed up the answer to a very simple question about what I had for breakfast. It's a roller-coaster of ups and downs.

Anyway, I only have three weeks left, so I'm stocking up on books etc, so hopefully I won't lose too much of my speaking abilities over the summer. Fingers crossed.

In the meantime, here is a video I made to represent my love/hate relationship with the language...

Blogspot.com seems to cut the video off, so it's not as effective.  You can either watch the cut off, not-as-good clip below, or you can click THIS link and see it properly on facebook.

Loves...

T'was the Birthday of Hitler...

T'was the birthday of Hitler, and all through St Pete,
Not a black kid or asian could be seen in the street.
For they were all locked in their dorm rooms with care,
In the hopes that a racist gang of skinhead idiot nationalistic bastards wouldn't hunt them down and beat or rape them in a violent hate crime.

Hmm... maybe that last line needs a little work....

But seriously, it's Hitler's birthday, and so all the asians are staying home, Sujin (the wonderful Korean roommate) included.  Apparently these two weeks are particularly dangerous for asians, and in fact a couple of Chinese girls in my class went home to China, and plan to return to St Pete in May.  

It isn't just today that it's a problem... Sujin has a friend who was harassed on the bus by a group of Russian tools about a month ago, because they thought she was Chinese.  From what I can tell, these guys don't actually have any beef with Japanese or Koreans, but because they look Chinese they're still at risk.

So today, because our class was small (due to Asian students being at home), and because of issues with classrooms, our teacher Maria took us "Na Excoorsee" (on an excursion) to the Museum of the Press.

It was a GORGEOUSLY sunny day, but bitterly bitterly bitterly cold.  Oh man.  The last few days the weather has been colder than ever.  Sunny, clear, beautiful blue skies...but so cold.  I think that last night in particular must have pretty bad, because the wind outside our window was ridiculously loud, and because the Neva river is full of ice again.  The last week, it has been completely defrosted, no ice to be seen.  Today it's crowded with big jagged chunks, and if the weather were to continue this way (let's hope NOT, seeing as it's almost MAY) I have no doubt that it would be safe to walk on again in a week due to the ice.

So anyway, we met up out the front of Dom Knigi (House of Books) on Nevsky Prospect, and set off.  It's great to walk around a pretty city with a friendly Russian teacher and your classmates.  We basically only really walked around one or two blocks, but that took us past a statue dedicated to Gogol, and the royal stables, and Pushkin's apartment, and two different rivers.  It was a very nice little walk.  Then we wound up at the Museum of Print, which was the headquarters for the magazine/newspaper "Pravda"! (click on pravda to read more about it, thanks to Grace)....

Of course, even though Maria had given us a sheet of vocabulary to learn, I still didn't really catch everything the guide was telling us, but it was still interesting.  We saw a printing press, some old sheets of the newspaper, old desks and writing implements, and the first ever printed book in Russia.  There was also a neat ornate tripod/stand, in which Peter the Great used to place his new laws, inscribed in metal plates, for his people to read.  We also watched a movie on the blockade, which was fairly depressing. (Click here to see some excellent photos from the Leningrad Blockade, juxtaposed with photos from today)

So it was a lovely morning, and nicely relaxing after a tiring weekend with Amanda and Hannah. (They visited from Moscow! So nice to see them and show them around! Although we could only hit up the main points, the more obvious, touristy kind of stuff in 2 days...but you can't come to St Pete and NOT do the hermitage/bronze horseman etc...

Loves to all!

-Bimini

PS: I ONLY HAVE 3 WEEKS LEFT HERE!  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Just incase my photos and blogs were starting to make you think the weather had turned nice....

This was the weather outside my window yesterday afternoon.

Holy blustering white clumps of puffy white death Batman!

Enjoy every sandwich.../ Шаверма

I'm silly I know

The shocking events of April 1st are too much for our in-field reporter to handle...

Another Vid

Vid

Apparently the sun does shine out of Lenin's arse after all...

Most of you may have already seen this, but as an April fool's day prank someone stuck a bomb between Lenin's legs (one of the most famous/popular/loved statues of him, by the way) and blew out the seat of his pants.

Political statement, or commentary on the effects of too much cabbage?

Here are photos....

(for the whole album, click here)

I also filmed a bunch of impromptu reporter-style dialogue.  I thought I was hilarious at the time, making fun of grieving babyshkas etc., but until I'm better with iMovie and can at least pretend that it's a little pro, I may not upload that....

Loves to all!